A Parable of Apples

Before I end up on another feminist rant (I just found a Christian article about rape culture that will make it here soon), I want to take a moment to speak to a problem with feminist rants that a friend brought to my attention.  Hopefully, this is not a problem for men in my life, but it's important, so I am going to tell a story.   I may have told this story before, but this time, it's an allegory.

Last fall, I went apple picking with a group of grad students.  One of the kids with us reminded me of a character in a book I was reading, which was really awkward because I kept wanting to call him Sonny, which was not his name, and then I'd have to explain to him, "Oh, it's just that you remind me of a fictional character," making a great first impression. 

Sonny (not his real name) was from New York and didn't like apples.  (I promise, these two facts are related.)  He came for the pumpkin patch and the hay ride.  However, as we wandered through the apple orchard, he caught some enthusiasm from the rest of us and tried an apple.  And exclaimed, "I didn't know apples could taste like this!"  Having only ever eaten mushy, flavorless store-apples, he didn't know what an apple really was.  But when he found a real one, he liked it.

There is a danger in feminist rants to identify men with the mushy, flavorless store-apples and see the orchard-picked variety as the outliers, who are an exception to what men really are.  To define men and generalize masculinity by the negative choices that lead to the problems we see.  This approach leads us to devalue the honorable masculinity with which some men live their lives.  

No matter which is more common in our lives, the fact is that orchard apples are more truly apples than mushy, flavorless store-apples.  Men who live noble masculinity live it more truly than those who live the stunted version of masculinity (if it even can be called such) that leads to things like rape culture.  We as women need to make sure that as often as we attack the latter, we affirm the former and let the men we love know that they show us what it means to be a man.

Day-Maker #81

Take a look at this video of the Pope talking to a group of children.  Spoiler Alert: they give him a sheep.

Return

Hello again, friends!  I'm not sure if I feel comfortable calling you loyal readers, since that might highlight my lack of loyalty as a writer.  However, I am back -- partially employed (30 hours a week) for a pro-life group 30 minutes up the road from my parents' house, where I am living for the next few months.  As counter-intuitive as it might seem, unemployment is horrible for my productivity, so I am anticipating that you will hear from me somewhat more often, now that my days have an outside structure imposed upon them.  We'll see; I'm learning a new swing if things.  But now that I have a steady job, my days can settle into a routine of some sort.

For your entertainment, I'm going to reach back into my "Blog Me" folder and pull out a story that came up a while ago.  This story came up in a local paper a few months ago, but, since it takes readers on a walk into the past, it is still relevant.  It talks about "Story Book Land," a "children's amusement park" that made fairytales and nursery rhymes real.  It used to exist right up the road from me, but was gone before I could add it to my memories.  I do remember the talk of reopening it and wishing that it would happen.

Day-Maker #80

After a brief hiatus, I return to share this day-maker, which brightened my morning Facebook stalking.  Which Supreme Court justice are you?  I'm Kagan!

Before My Final Final

According to this Lifehacker article, rereading, highlighting, and summarizing note are poor methods of studying.  Instead, you should use good methods: taking breaks and spreading out studying.  Please tell me I don't have to explain the entertainment value of these statements.  Maybe today should be a day of one, long, effective study break...

Addendum I: Vocabulary for Frank

Frank asked me what the phrase “gift of self” might mean, with the disclaimer that as my “token non-christian reader” he didn’t know.  First of all, I want to give a shout-out to the other non-Christians who read this blog – I know that at least one other of my loyal 3.5 readers shies away from any religious persuasion.  Secondly, I want to give a shout-out to those Christians/Catholics who might read this and think, “Well, I don’t exactly know what ‘gift of self’ means either.”

It’s a hallmark John Paul II phrase, lifted especially from his Theology of the Body, so there is no way I will do justice to it in one post.  If you really want to understand the phrase, read Man and Woman He Created Them, JPII’s audiences on the theology of the body compiled into one book.  And read it with a competent moral theologian by your side.  (Ooh-ooh-pick-me-pick-me!  I’m looking for a job!)  I’ll do my best, however.

Gift of self, or self-gift, describes how persons relate to each other.  It means giving of oneself in a full and free manner, an openness towards the other that says, “I am yours,” and does not hold back.  It is a self-offering that is love.  For JPII, the preeminent example is the Trinity: the Father pours Himself out to the Son, the Son reciprocates this love to the Father, and the love bursts forth to be the Spirit. 

For my non-Christian readers, or the Christians who haven’t pondered the Trinity in this manner, the primary earthly example is marital love.  Husband and wife give themselves to the other in a love that encompasses all aspects of their being.  In the words of Scott Hahn, “this love is so tangible that nine months later you have to give it a name.”  It is total (hence, no divorce) and life-giving (hence, babies) and consists of an orientation of oneself to the other and a strong will for the good of the other. 

I feel like I’ve been talking around it for long enough now that hopefully this sheds some life on self-gift.  If not, question away, and I will revisit the topic – possibly while studying for my Theology of the Body exam!

Thoughts after Comps Season

Normally, I let exam grades fade into the past without comment, and the good disappear with the bad.  Since I made comps such a big deal on here, however, I figure I should mention: scores came out!  Everyone passed!  Even this girl right here, who managed to impress her professors some.  Thanks for the prayers and encouragement, loyal readers!